Retrospect
Retrospect
Missed Opportunities: The Ones That Got Away | Retrospect Ep.198
In this week’s episode we discussed the moments that slipped through our fingers—the job not taken, the call not made, the dream put on hold. We explore real stories of missed opportunities, the emotions they stir, and how they shape the paths we take. Sometimes, what we don’t do teaches us just as much as what we do.
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Retrospect
missed opportunities, personal stories, career regrets, relationship regrets, education regrets, financial regrets, travel regrets, health regrets, professional risks, personal growth, decision-making, life choices, second chances, societal expectations
Jason 0:01
Some moments pass so quickly you don't realize their weight until they're already gone. A flight, you didn't board, a word, you didn't say, a choice that seems small until it changed everything. This is the world of missed opportunities, where silence echoes louder than action, and inaction becomes its own kind of decision. We Tell Ourselves, there will be time we wait for the perfect moment, but time doesn't wait and perfect rarely shows up. In this episode, we crack open those doors that we never opened, about the moments we let slip, the dreams we buried, and the haunting power of what might have been, because sometimes the greatest stories are The ones that never happened. Welcome
Ian 1:07
to the retrospect podcast, a show where people come together from different walks of life and discuss a topic from the generations perspective. My name is Ian, as always, I'm joined by Jason.
Stoney 1:29
Hello, everyone.
Ian 1:30
Stoney.
Stoney 1:31
hello
Ian 1:31
got the gang back together. The gang is back together, you guys. I know you went on a vacation,
Jason 1:38
yes.
Stoney 1:39
What kind of vacation did you go on?
Jason 1:41
me and the girlfriend went to Glacier, East Glacier. Yeah, you know Montana. I've been there. This is my third trip now, to Montana. Okay, I want to go so bad. I went back in 21 with the same group that I kind of went with on this trip. Before that, I went on a on a business related trip to actually Helena, Montana, so I got to see their state capital. And that was a bit different.
Stoney 2:10
If you went with a bunch of people you knew before, probably a really boring trip, right? Oh yeah, no, it
Jason 2:17
wasn't boring. It was not boring.
Stoney 2:19
But what happened?
Jason 2:22
Well, I have a feeling, yeah, I asked my girlfriend for Yes, Stoney, I have the the original plan was, I mean, I was going to do it on this trip, yeah, but I didn't know when that was the question. I was like, Okay, do I do it in the beginning? Do I do it at the end? You know how
Stoney 2:53
I tell him, if she suspects, make it go till the end. wait till the last day
Jason 2:58
But you know, I you know, it was like, you know, I know I'm gonna do it the first day. So, okay, the first day that we prepared. We got the hike, we got to where we were going to go, and we went to the Grinnell glacier trail. Okay, that was going to take us to Grinnell glacier Lake, right? Which was about a 12 mile hike, nice. The original goal was to ask her on top of the mountain,
Ian 3:28
Oh, dude, you
Jason 3:30
know. But something in me just kept saying, Jason, you better do it now. You better do it before we get too far up the trail, yeah, thank goodness I did okay, because by the time we got to the top, it was raining and my hands were almost frost. Bit stop. It was that cold in July. So we were about a mile into the hike, and we were crossing over a really pretty wooden bridge with a stream going underneath it, mountains in the background. And I said, the other friends are with me, because she, I told her. I said, Look, I'm going to give you a cube. Yeah, I'm ready to do this. You start filming, yeah? So I kind of, we were taking pictures, and everybody was at the bridge, and then I kind of like gave a little sign, and I kind of told us that, hey, we're going to take some more photos. And everybody kind of left, yeah, and then all of a sudden, boom, I get on my knee, do the deal. So, yes, it was a very emotional moment. So
Stoney 4:38
there's video evidence of this. Oh,
Ian 4:40
yes, sometimes you trust your gut
Jason 4:42
there, there is a video and that you know that will be personal, of course, private. And, yeah, Tracy's not, she's not one to she will not put that out, right? I'm leaving it up to her. Her of how she kind of conveys this, this information, of course, all the you know, the close people know, of course, family and we all know, everybody knows. But as far as kind of putting it out there, I'm leaving that up to her, how she wants to do that so, but yes,
Ian 5:17
is it okay that we're talking about on the podcast? Oh, absolutely, okay.
Jason 5:20
Absolutely, it's fine. Because she asked me,
Ian 5:23
you got to keep it secret. I think,
Jason 5:28
I mean, it's I just let her how she wants to put it out on Facebook and stuff like that. So I said, Well, just let me know, then I can change my profile engaged, or or whatever the case. How that, how that works there.
Ian 5:43
What a great like, what a great personal story that leads into, like, this episode. Oh yes, this fits
Stoney 5:53
a question right, right before that. So, when y'all get married and y'all become husband and wife, does that mean she becomes your ex girlfriend. Yes, okay, I just wanted,
Jason 6:06
yeah, we're gonna be. We're gonna be, it's gonna be busy next few weeks, but
Stoney 6:13
I'll get married in a couple of weeks. No, not that we'll probably, it'll
Jason 6:17
probably be in the spring. That's things like, wait, what? Yeah, it'll probably be in the spring because, I mean, we gotta, gotta get with the church, and you gotta, of course, there's certain things you got to do and all that. And she's starting a new job, so she kind of wants to, of course, get her feet in and and kind
Ian 6:34
of, you still got it. You still got to figure out your whole house situation. Well, got
Jason 6:38
it figured out, pretty good. I mean, we've we traveled well together. I was very impressed, because we had a small room. The lodging arrangements. I stayed in this same historic lodge back in 21 but I was on the first floor during on that trip, and this trip, we were on the third floor, and there's no elevator. Oh gosh, in this historic hotel. This hotel is, like, built in like, 1905 it's listed on the National Historic Register. It's a beautiful hotel. It really is, right. The problem is your reception is terrible. Of course, being on the east side of the park, you're right there, really on top of Indian Reservation. And so there's just not, I mean, they have Wi Fi, but the Wi Fi was just not very reliable. So I'd be very curious what sort of, what sort of review Tracy is going to leave right for this lodge. But we had to ask them, like, twice, three times, to clean our room. No, they didn't bring us towels. They didn't bring us toilet paper. Had to request that. It was just basically she said we'll never stay here again.
Stoney 8:00
So, so the lodge had a missed opportunity. The lodge had a missed
Jason 8:04
opportunity. But, you know, it's it's just, you kind of it. They need to kind of get into the modern age a little bit on the electronic side. I think there are some restrictions that that hotel has because of its designation on the register. So there's probably some things they just can't do to it, yeah, but a lot of
Stoney 8:30
things too, though, like when I spent some time in Colorado and that area, people want to go away, to get away from the technology, right? And so maybe they offer a place you can go to, you know, disconnect, right, and hike, right, and do other things than be on your electronics. And so getting into the technology age, I'm not so sure. I kind of like still, you know, Magnus and Miranda, oh, you left your phone. I don't care if I left my phone on the table. I don't need my phone up my butt. You know,
Jason 9:06
I agree I and they're so big, I still think though that in your room,
Stoney 9:11
yeah, sorry,
Jason 9:14
I still think in your room you should be able to make a phone call a better access to they didn't have a room, they didn't have a phone. They had a phone that goes at a front desk. Oh, then you could still make a phone call. Yeah, but that's not what we're looking for. And so there are some other options that if we go back, and that's like, if we go back, we will go back. I tell people all the time, Glacier National Park is something you have to go see in person, pictures, TV does not do it justice. We hiked. We did a 12 mile hike the first day. We followed that up with a 14 mile hike the next day, wow. And we climbed all the way up to the. What they call the Grinnell Lake overlook, where we were about 7500 feet, and we climbed up. The last little part is you climb 1000 feet in about point eight of a mile. Oh, my God. So it's pretty deep, steep, so it's kind of one of those things. You take about 20 to 30 steps, you got to stop, yeah, and, I mean, I'm in shape, and I was, I was stopping. I mean, it was,
Ian 10:30
was there any, like, oxygen situation, where I didn't
Jason 10:34
necessarily have any issues with that? I think it's really when you get above 8000 feet, where, I think you would might have some issues with that, but I didn't recall, like, sucking
Stoney 10:46
air, right? It was just in Colorado, I was above eight. Oh,
Jason 10:50
yeah. I think, yeah, anything. I think when you get above 8000 because now you're, you're getting into, you know, you know, almost two miles up, right? But, but, yeah, great trip. We had some saw some beautiful sights. Saw some was all grizzly bear. We saw big horn sheep. We saw mountain goats. We saw a moose. On the last day, believe it or not, we were driving. We had left a hotel, and we're driving down the road, and I looked to left, and I went, That's a move. Stops off. We pulled over to the side, and she gets out the car and she takes pictures because it was splashing in the lake. Oh my gosh, but we did whitewater rafting. That was, you know, it was a blast, but that's okay. Unfortunately, we got about two and a half days of rain, really, but I mean temperatures are like 61 lows or 4647
Ian 11:51
I feel like a dream compared to what
Jason 11:53
one day we was. This Monday, we went to Canada. So we went to Waterton State Park. We went to the Prince of Wales Hotel. Talk about nice. I mean, it's just absolutely beautiful. That's potential a place we will go back and stay. Wow. It's about 400 a night. Not bad. Oh, gosh, yeah. But you know, all the all the attendants are dressed in the kilts. Yeah, you look like you're in Scotland. It's overlooking, like, this panoramic view of, like, multiple lakes. It looks like Loch Ness. You know, it's so funny how it all looks but I know she's making posts each day, like, day one, and she'll have a bunch of pictures. Day two, a bunch of pictures. Day three, and so on. So everybody seems to be, you know, real excited, but, you know, the big news was that I asked for our hand in marriage. And, I mean, we've been dating now for about 19 months, wow, and it's been that long, right? Yeah, get out. And I never thought I would ever, you know, because, I mean, you know, my life has changed so radically in just a short time, because two years ago, when thinking about this, at all, at all. I mean, I'll be honest with you, I really thought I was just gonna just, it's just gonna be me. Yeah, you know, I didn't think I'd ever really find anybody that would be a match for me and work well with me and but she, she showed up, and,
Stoney 13:30
like I say, Miranda was stuck in a tree. You know, I had to wait till I was 5556 years to find her. How old are you? 55 maybe that's the magic.
Jason 13:40
Maybe I'll be 56 this coming week. So, so yeah, I just, you know, it's, it's amazing how the good Lord works. And you know it's good things to happen to those who wait, yeah and no, settle very quickly. And some people say, well, Jason, maybe you did. You didn't move fast enough, man. But hey, because I heard those stories when I was in my 30s, quite a bit, I'm hearing
Ian 14:10
those stories now. Oh, of course you will.
Jason 14:13
You live in a culture that, basically, you know, you should be married and you should be this, and it should look like this, my
Ian 14:23
dad. My dad had three kids by the time he was my exactly, Oh, yeah. Well, I
Jason 14:27
mean, most men, I mean, I mean, look my father, when he married my mom back in in in the early 60s. My dad was 32 years old, which was old for a man at that time to be married, and he most been, you know, probably in their early 20s. Oh yeah, they're getting married and starting their families So, but, you know, times change, and I was just kind of somebody that was like, you know, I'm not gonna just, I'm just not gonna just, kind. Kind of put myself in the box, because that's kind of where everybody expects you to be, yeah. And I told many times that, um, you know, my life was not, you know, wasn't, like, miserable, right, roping around. And I'm, you know, a lot of single guys, unfortunately, a lot of the ones I've known throughout my life generally lead very destructive lives without the grounding effect of a lady in their life. I mean, they just do they drink too much, they either do drugs or they sleep around and he's sleeping with everything that that's out there, and they're miserable. And instead of there's, there's a healthy way to live a single life, yeah, and, and lot of, not a lot of guys can do it. They just can't. Generally, they're just very miserable. And, and I was, I was very comfortable living by myself. It wasn't that I was completely just oh my gosh. You know, my life has no meaning. You know, you kind of hear the story type of stuff, so, but, you know, I wanted someone who was going to fit me, and it took literally this long in my life, so I end up retiring, yeah, and in now, preparing to get married at a time that I never thought, I never thought would, would ever happen so, but I'm very happy. She's very happy. We make a good a good couple, and we look I'm looking forward to spending the rest of my life with her, and however long the good Lord, I'm happy for you, how long the good Lord gives us,
Stoney 16:48
yes, hang out with having dinner with y'all, I love you, babe.
Jason 16:53
So shout out. Oh,
Stoney 16:54
now I'm not the sucky. Y'all used to pick on me about being the sucky one.
Jason 17:01
Gotta do the deal. So,
Ian 17:05
hey, everyone has their moment. That's his moment. That's my so that's great. I'm happy for you. Oh, I'm
Jason 17:11
excited, but it was a great trip. So we had fun. That's
Ian 17:14
awesome. I'm taking off this week, and I don't have any plans. Oh, you're gonna do
Jason 17:19
it, what they call a staycation, a staycation. Well, there's nothing wrong with those. I've done those too.
Ian 17:26
I This, this, this, this past summer has been really busy. A lot of, lot of changes happen. A lot of stuff has been in transition, and all that kind of business. And so it's been, I was, I was hoping to take off some time right after the Easter season. And it just never had. I didn't come to fruition because of all the stuff that was going taking place. But now I think I finally have that moment, so I got to take it while I can. And I'm not, like I said, I'm not, I'm talking about missing opportunity. I almost didn't take this, but I have some people around me that will really encourage me to, like, No, you really need to take a break and just chill out. And I was like, All right, okay, and so I'm looking forward to that so. But
Jason 18:09
so what do y'all think, guys, what, you know, the topic is missed opportunity. So what? What are things in our lives that maybe we didn't move fast enough, we didn't grab the moment.
Stoney 18:22
Yeah, well, most of the time I don't regret the things that I did. And this is a quote, and I think it originally goes back to Lucille Ball, okay, but it's been kind of deemed with some other people, I regret the things that I didn't do when I had the opportunity. Yeah, most I regret the things they didn't do than the things that they did. Yeah,
Ian 18:43
because I think a lot of times, I think people still, I think, feel that are at least conscious of the fact that, like, even if you make a bad mistake and like, and you learn from that mistake, it still kind of molds you in shapes, into the person that you are. So like, you can learn from the mistakes you don't want to. I mean, like, sometimes there are people that I know that do regret some actions that they've taken or some decisions they've made. For me, I've also done some I made some poor decisions in my day, but I think a lot of that has like, I was young and I was naive and I was excited and I got myself into some bad situations, and so like, I look back on those times and go, if I had the opportunity, I probably wouldn't do it the same way again. But I also don't regret that I made those poor decisions, because I think it did kind of shape me into the person that I am now, and I think I am better for it. But you're right, though, I feel like more often than not, there are times I look back and I think of the opportunities that I didn't take that I think I regret more when I had the opportunity to,
Jason 19:44
yeah, I think back, you know, my my working career, maybe if I would have been a little bit more assertive, maybe a little bit bolder, maybe see some opportunities that were given to me and not necessarily be. Be afraid, you know, doubting your own abilities. Yeah, little more a little bit more confident. I think maybe that would have maybe changed the trajectory of what how my career played out. Yeah, you know, I think back on decisions when you know opportunities were presented to either lead something or do something. And I didn't do it because I was comfortable, yeah, in what I was doing. And I didn't want to, I just, you get kind of shut the boat, right? I didn't want to shake the boat. I it was comfortable. I knew exactly what my expectations were, doing this and that and everything else and and sometimes that hurts you. Yeah, in this particular case, I probably looking back on it. Now it probably did professionally, you know, not that I had a bad career, but, you know, it was just there were probably opportunities, maybe if I would have been a little bit more. Yeah, I'm gonna grab that, grab it and run with it, yeah? And I didn't do that.
Ian 21:06
That's been a, been a flaw of mine, of I get comfortable, yeah? Well, we all get comfortable. And for me, like there, I think there has been moments like that for me as well, where, like, I could have shake, I could have stirred the nest up and done something. And I think, really, I looking back now, if I was as confident as I am right now, and I would have been a little more assertive, I think I could see that success, the success of what could have been if I was a little bit more assertive in that, but I was too comfortable. And I think I'm, I'm a little late to a lot of that, even though I'm still young, but there's still some things like that that I've been thinking about that I'm like, Man, I really, how much further could I have gone if I just really, like, Well,
Jason 21:48
is there, are there things that you want to do that you maybe you're afraid to do? Yeah, yeah. You've talked about being a pilot and skills that I've been I want to, I mean, maybe, you know, here it is, yeah, it's these. Are these choices, forks in the room. You know,
Stoney 22:11
entrepreneur did a big survey, okay, a number of people. And this isn't, this isn't exactly equal to 100 I took some snippets of what I thought was really interesting, of what people thought, like 11% of one of their questions say they have no regrets at all. Okay, that's kind of interesting. Yeah, it's freeing. But another one 40% regret not speaking up. Oh, that's a good one. See, I like, that's why I took the snippet. So this, this isn't the same question or anything. These are just snippets from it,
Ian 22:49
because I feel, I feel that I've been moments where, like, I look back on and go, I really should have said something there
Stoney 22:54
36% regret not visiting family or friends. Ooh, that's also hard. And I'm kind of glad I did this right now, because this one is directed at you. Okay, 35% regret not pursuing their dreams. Oh, and all of these are in action based regrets. Yeah, these outweigh regrets over actions taken. Yeah, that's interesting. I like some of the wording of it. You know, the Okay, no regrets at all. You know, you're right. It's easy, yeah, I feel like people can say that, but not speaking up. Yeah, wow. Because I marries on your heart for a long time.
Ian 23:34
For me, like it conjures up moments almost instantly, you said that. And I was like, oh yeah. I know there's been some moments where, like, either my friend was going through something or or I feel like someone was, someone I was working with, was getting was was not being treated right. Or like things like that. Were like moments where I know I could have intervened and said something, and I did. But
Stoney 23:56
also baby boomers, and this is where I always like to go generationally on, yeah, yeah, steal, carry regrets from decades ago, thinking about them around three times a month. Really. Wow. Millennials, average weekly reflections on regrets even older ones, wow. Think about that. Yeah. You know, that's just interesting, millennials, 36% and Gen Z, 31% are form far more likely to regret missed opportunities than Gen X, 26% and Boomers, 10% Wow, yep, and 21% of all adults say their top financial regret is not saving for retirement early enough. Now this is kind of weird, because it goes over the generations. It's 34% for boomers, 26 for Gen X, 11 for millennials, and 5% for Gen Z, and they're not even ready to retire yet. And. Are already starting. They're already they're
Ian 25:02
already regretting not necessarily starting. I'm like, Wow, that's crazy.
Stoney 25:06
Younger adults report heightened stress from these regrets. 60% Gen Z, 57% of millennials say their regret related stress has increased compared to 38% of the boomers. Wow,
Ian 25:25
that's crazy. I feel like I looking back at that, that number about not following your dreams, I think I am right here, where I am, because I followed my dreams, but I'm just, I think I'm at a stage of my life where
Stoney 25:43
things you follow your dreams at the time, well, it doesn't mean you know your dreams won't change, and that's what new ones will pop up,
Ian 25:48
right? And that's what I think I'm trying to be aware of right now. Is like with this new season of my life? What? What does that next dream look like? What does the future hold? Is the big thing for me, and making sure I don't miss that opportunity, making sure if there's something, if there is an opportunity, that I can opportunity that I capitalize on, it is the thing for me right now, and I think there are a couple. So believe me, when I say I'm not, it's not that there is inaction on my part. I'm just I gotta have the courage to actually make the decision to follow through with it. But there was a point in my point on my life, where, like I wanted to, I wanted to pursue artistic endeavors. I wanted to do music, I want to do graphic design. I wanted to do all the stuff like I do now on a daily basis. And I had a lot of older people that were like, that's fun and all, but like, go to college and, like, get a day job, was like, the kind of sentiment that I had gotten a lot well, from like, and again, I know the thing is, those people, I look back now, and I know that they are from a different time. Some of them aren't even around anymore, and I think they were trying to be encouraging in their own way, about like, Yes, I think I could follow my dreams, but the same time, I need to be able to afford. I need to be able to afford living. And at the time, I don't blame them. The digital space was a lot different, even in their time, but even, you know, two decades ago, give or take. And so there was moments like that where I think I did follow, I did look at signs, and I did follow. I there was a moment in time where I took a job getting paid less because it was going to be hands on, like in the field that I wanted to do, and people around me were like, What are you doing? I was like, I I love doing this, and I want to pursue this and and I think that that again, I've been doing this now for probably over 10 years now, and now I think I've gotten skills, and I've grown a lot, and I've gotten better at it and and I'm making a lot more money than I think I would have if I wouldn't have made that decision to, like, like I said, take a pay cut. And,
Jason 27:53
well, I think a lot of people make decisions, you know, the reality is, in speaking of, you know, like, job decisions. I mean, when people are kind of figuring that out, I mean, the reality is, there are a lot of things that people would love to do. Yes, the problem is, I can't pay my bills doing that. Oh, yeah, you know that, that there is a harsh reality to life that, you know, unless I'm willing to live a very kind of basic, primitive life. Okay, maybe you can do it. But you know, the reality is, most people, especially as they get older, they're going to want some comforts. Oh yeah, that you know that only if I'm making a certain income level, I'm able to do that unless you're just kind of one of those people that go live off in the woods, and I know a couple of those that could care less, but the vast majority of people can only really do that when you're young, and not when you get older, just health and all these other things. But speaking of some stats here, I'm just kind of looking at a Gallup poll in 2011 they say 90% of people say they have at least one major regret. There was another study of 2000 adults by the University of Illinois found that the most common regrets involved romance. Art, 19% family, 16% education, 13% career, 12% in finance, 10% that's ruse in Somerville, 2005 They say people are more likely to regret inactions, missed opportunities over actions as time passes. So in the short term, we regret bad choices, and the long term, we regret not choosing at all, which to me, I find very interesting. Yeah, and just come so. Stats here from different things here, like career and work, they say. A LinkedIn study in 2022 found that 78% of professionals say they've missed out on career opportunities due to fear, self doubt or procrastination.
Ian 30:17
I'm guilty of that.
Jason 30:21
61% of employees wish they had taken more professional risk earlier in their career. Sounds like you just said, yeah, exactly. I'll fall right into that. 70% of workers have passed on applying for a job they wanted because they felt under qualified, even if they met most of the criteria.
Stoney 30:43
Yeah, fake it till you make it. But I think that comes into what you were talking about earlier. I get comfortable, yes, complacent, yep, and I know I can do this and I don't have any problems. I've already got that next step and create all this stress,
Ian 30:58
and I've already got a job and I'm making good money, and I can just keep on with this, or I can change it all up and either potentially make more, or I could not get it, and then I've like, ruined this whole Yeah, yeah. It's this whole back and forth. Yeah,
Jason 31:11
they say in crazy 2021, Psychology Today, a survey found over 60% of people say they still think about a missed chance at a romantic relationship according to the regret scale developed by psychologists, romantic regrets are one of the most deepest and long lasting because they tie to personal identity and vulnerability.
Stoney 31:37
You'll see, I would like to say I'm glad I missed every damn one of them. Dr Miranda, I'm glad I missed every single one of them opportunity. I because I got my hottie
Ian 31:49
doctor, I am, I think I'm a walking example of what you just quoted there. There's a, there was a, there was someone way back in like high school that I feel like I that was like a missed opportunity for me, that I feel like there was a couple of opportunities. And if I was more confident myself, and I think if I was a a more assertive human being, I think I think we would be singing a different tune. But I think because of the fact that I was a bit emotionally immature and also socially awkward. It that was, that was something that never happened, and it was, we were just really close friends for a long time, and now, looking back on it, like I think it's for the best of that didn't happen, but it but for a long time, preceding high school and into my, like, early 20s, there was a it was that it kind of nagged on me a little bit of like, man, you really had an opportunity to do something, or it's like to be, to have a really special person your life like that. And I, because I just wasn't,
Stoney 32:53
What's that song? Thank God for unanswered prayers, because one day you're praying for it. Look Back 20 years later and go, Okay, that wouldn't have been a good thing. Oh, damn, I missed that
Ian 33:02
one. So now and now more. So it's the fact that I'm like, I think it's all I'm not saying, like, not saying anything bad, but it just is one of those moments where, like, I look back on it now, and I think for the best, I am where I am right now because of, like, that whole opportunity. But like, it was just one of those things that for a long time, like, like you said, Of all the things, of all the missed opportunities that I would have looked back on, that was probably the one that lasted the longest, where I looked back on that moment going, I had a handful of opportunities to really be someone special for somebody, and I missed those opportunities because I was just
Jason 33:39
awkward. You could, you know, it's, it's, you know, you'll never know, because we're not omnipotent, so we can't see all our choices in life at the same time and just kind of pick the best one that's going to work for us a lot of times by chance. Yeah, just real quick, on the education front, 13% of Americans list not getting more education as their biggest regret in life. That was a Pew Research 2016 study, yeah, and they say in a study of adults over 51/3 said they regret not studying something different or pursuing their true passion academically, I probably would have done something different college, really. Oh, yeah, I would have gone with a different degree than I got. What was it? I would have probably gone into, like, accounting or Business Administration or something, versus criminal justice. I just don't think that really did anything, yeah, but you know, you're not thinking of at that time. You just kind of go with it, just real quick. On the science front here, I find it's interesting. So neuroimaging shows increased activity in the orbitofrontal cortex when people reflect on actions they didn't take. So there actually is some scientific evidence there to show that the brain is doing something. Yep, you know,
Ian 34:58
if I'm not mistaken and I could. Be wrong. I'm not a brain doctor by any means, but I think that's the same part of your brain that deals with how you are perceived by others, when you start to like, when you start to think about yourself and how you are perceived by other people. That's the area your brain that also kicks in, if I'm not mistaken, and a lot of that in, like, the music space, whenever you finally let yourself go and like and not worry about what people are thinking about what you're playing and just like, get into the zone that air your brain shuts down or calms down a lot, because you're able to like, let go and not be, not think about palette. You're being the the uh, the perception of you. I was trying to think the
Jason 35:44
right word, yeah, I'll be very curious how covid, all the shutdowns nationwide, around the world, how that affected young people, because I think they're the ones who got impacted the long term. I'd be very curious what the long term effects will that will, you know, will show as they age,
Ian 36:06
will, like, like, the all the effects of covid, I feel like lasted, what was it like, two, three years? Yeah,
Jason 36:15
and I'm telling you, it varied depending on what state you lived in, because some states were lot more kind of draconian than other states were. I mean, some states just kind of kept on going other states, it was like you were locked in your house.
Ian 36:30
Yeah. I mean, for us, we still had stuff going on probably two or three years afterwards, at least, like, out and about, but maybe not so strict. But what I'm saying is like, like, that is potentially someone's entire like, high school career, like, three to four years. So like, you're like, just to kind of reinforce what you're talking about. It's like you talk about young people and how it affected them going into high school during covid.
Stoney 36:56
Your mother here talking about homeschooling and how that sometimes can socially make kids not ready to hit the real world, if not done appropriately, a little overwhelming. Yes, a little over. Now, you just had four years of that shit. Now you're going to have all of these kids all of a sudden back into school, and now going into the real world. It's, it's gonna, it's gonna have some impact? Yeah,
Jason 37:22
yeah, I'm kind of looking at some breakdown by generation of some I know Stoney touched on some of this. Gen Z, I see 42% regret not choosing a different major or skill path earlier. That's from a source called handshake. 2023, travel and experience. Covid 19 impacted the coming of age. Experience is kind of what we just talked about, how that's going to kind of play into the psyche of that
Stoney 37:57
spring break. Yeah, that's a rite of passage. Rite of passage, yeah,
Jason 38:04
yeah. And entrepreneur risk, a growing number express regret not starting a content creation or business venture while young, which
Stoney 38:14
is kind of weird, because that's what everybody did during covid. Everybody doing content, I can't, I can't, these are
Jason 38:24
kind of general, general numbers. They want a key driver, and that's fear of judgment, lack of confidence and pressure to follow a safe path. Come with some of the things we've talked about for millennials, 67 wish, 67% wish they had taken more risk earlier in their career. That's from the jobless career regret survey of 2023 also many regret not investing earlier.
Ian 38:53
Oh, yeah, I thought about
Jason 38:57
being too passive with their money in their 20s and and and then when it comes to relationships and marriage postponement, culture has led to regrets around the one that got away,
Ian 39:10
guilty,
Jason 39:11
you know, a key driver in these kind of in these numbers, career pressure, economic instability, student debt, which, that's all there Gen X many regret not pursuing more or different education earlier life that I feel that when it comes to like businesses and stuff, 47% say they regret not starting their own business. Vistaprint entrepreneur survey of 2019 also this another one here for it'd be work life balance regrets over prioritizing work over time with family or personal passions. Can see that these some of the key drivers in these numbers. Cultural push towards stability, corporate ladder mindset, very much a part of my generation. Of you know, you got to put the time in. You got to work the hours. You got to do all these things to make things happen. Baby Boomers, I don't know if I don't remember Stoney. He says they 70% regret not spending more time with their children or aging parents. And then, you know, I think many wish they had been bolder in their youth, traveling more, writing that book, taking that leap. And, of course, all those pressures of social expectations, you know, the pressures that you need to be at a certain point, you need to look like this. At a certain point, you need to look like this. You know, we kind of box our lives in. You know, what it should look like at a certain point in your life? And if you're not that, then you kind of looked at as well. You kind of a goofball, you know. I mean, you just, you just are, I mean, yeah, wow, so it's Yeah. I mean, inaction, a 2022, survey by YouGov showed that inaction is more common regret than wrong actions for every generation. So there must be something there going on with just being human, that you take a chance if you fail, you fail. Yeah, in the long run, it
Ian 41:35
seems like, it seems like, I guess what I'm taking away from this too, is like, even if you take the chance and fail. The fact that, like you, are probably more willing to forgive yourself in the long run is is better than if you were to not do it. Of course, beat yourself up forever, yeah,
Stoney 41:52
well, not doing something adds a whole different mentality. Okay, I didn't do it. Well, would I have been strong enough to do it? Would I have done this? If you try, you can't, yeah, you What if yourself to death. If you tried something, you can go, Okay, well, I tried it and okay, here's a list of things that I can see where I might have messed up. Or, yeah, maybe it wasn't even my fault, right? Okay, but if you don't do it, you just quadrupled the list of reasons it could have happened. Yeah, what could have been? Yeah, that's true.
Ian 42:27
I can say a big thing for me, you to bring it back around to what you were talking about, you know, poking fun at a little bit with the idea of me wanting to do, get my pilot's license and potentially pursue that is like, for me, the what if that keeps, like, like, I keep hitting my head up against is, like, if I really move into that career, like, I have to go, like, I have to really work for it, like, I really do all the schooling and do all the prep for it, right? It cost a lot of money, and then, and then for me, I don't have anybody firsthand in my life. I have a few friends and people that I've talked to, that I've talked to more recently, but as of a few months ago, I didn't have anybody firsthand that I could talk to, that like lives, that lifestyle that I could be like, if I really go into this whole new venture and spend all this money, is that like? Is that the kind of lifestyle I want to live, of like, you know, or like, or is that, is that a career that a career that I'd be like, comfortable in, like, that kind of stuff. Like, again, the What If, of like, what if this, Am I smart enough for that to have enough money? Like, that's the kind of stuff that's been so very true, like, what you're saying, and so that's, that's the big been, the big thing for me. But I have some more confirmation now that I feel like I have people in my life that have encouraged me. Now the big thing for me is just making sure, like, if I do it, I got the money, and I got to make sure I got because that's the big thing, is it, once the money runs dry, they they cut you off, and there's no more, right? There's no more progression, which makes sense, you know? But,
Jason 43:52
well, I mean, there's, there's always, you know, if pilot school is something that you're really are getting a tug on the heart to do, you know, think about possibly taking a little small loan out and just, you know, using that as a springboard to go take the lessons and learn. I don't know what sort of pilot you want to be. Is it like a Cessna type pilot? Are you looking at Twin Engine, potentially jet, or something along those lines. I know a lot of people. That's why I know a couple guys that they went into the military. Yeah, that because, until you let Uncle Sam,
Ian 44:36
I've told I've told many people, there's probably if alternate realities are a real thing that exists. There is an alternate reality version of myself, not too far off where I got out of high school, worked a few odds in his jobs and then joined the Navy to go fly jets and like, go fly like fighter pilots, or at least go work on them in some capacity, or be in that space, because that's i. Oh man, there's like, a deep love for that kind of Top Gun type vibe, like, oh yeah,
Jason 45:05
obviously, then there's, that might be something there. Ian, you maybe have to, I
Ian 45:10
know, I'm not, I'm not sure if I want to join the Navy now, but, well,
Jason 45:14
joining service, that's a whole different but, I mean, people take lessons all the time and learn to fly. I mean, it's, it's something can, can be done if that's something you really want to do. And then I learn, and then maybe get hired on by a contracting company, or some company that you fly them around. I've got a friend of mine who does that. Yeah, I think he works for some sort of contracting company flies all the execs all over the country and
Stoney 45:44
wherever I had a friend did it all over the world. He probably had the most Gulfstream hours of anybody, and that's what he did. Yeah, he flew these people. They had, I think, two or three jets, and flew them all over the world. It was two credit cards. Oh gosh, he never paid for anything. Oh yeah, once they got on the plane, yeah, he it was done, meals, lodging, everything. And then when he got off the plane, he was back on his world. But when they got on it to go wherever they had to go. Yeah, he and he made good money. He did really well, but he was a gulf stream pilot, and I have some great pictures and videos show me, yeah, he would send me the stuff all the time. He'd put a little GoPro behind his shoulder and say, Look at this. Yeah,
Ian 46:32
that's cool. I there's been two opportunities for me to go, for me to go up like, and do some test flights to see how I would feel, and like, you know, potentially start, like, the course, in some capacity. But the weather hasn't permitted it, because, over the past few
Stoney 46:46
months, you know, I was crazy. I just saw this, the the Blue Angels. Yeah, I think, can't you, like, pay to get you need to go, oh man, let them take you up. If it cost you $2,000 let them take you in the air and see if it inspires you enough.
Jason 47:05
It depends on what kind of plane you want to fly. I'm scared of that because I think
Stoney 47:11
that's a telltale right
Jason 47:13
there. I've been in a one single engine Cessna before, and that's a different type than getting on a jet. I mean, it just, it's, it's a whole different ball game. So it all depends on what you want
Ian 47:23
to do, right? Well, and that's so that's that these test flights I'm talking about is kind of that, like, preemptive stuff, where, like, if you come back down from that and are still really jiving, then they can start the next process of, like, what is the next step? But like I said, the two times that in the past few weeks that it would have happened, though it's been this. This summer has been crazy with rain, and so I've missed those opportunities. Haven't missed not from inaction on my part, but because of, um, extraneous circumstances. So, but I'm consistent, though, and hopefully I'm thinking, with some of this free time now that I have a whole week off, I may try and sneak my way over there and see if they're available at some point with when the weather's D, if the weather's decent this week. Or
Jason 48:05
you can join one of those clubs that people that get in those little you sit in the little cart with the parachute, oh, yeah, yeah, the propeller on the back, or something like that. Yeah, yeah. They're
Ian 48:16
called Ultra lights or para sails, yeah. I
Jason 48:21
have that friend of mine at work, that may be a little bit too much for me, that all the time, he said, Man, it was he had a blast doing it, yeah, but yeah, he worked. I think I would that sounds was an IT guy, yeah, that was his hobby. That
Ian 48:34
sounds like the motorcycles of planes. For me, I like a car, but a motorcycle gets a little too scary. You think, Well,
Jason 48:41
I think anytime you're in the air and something goes wrong, the chances are it's probably not going to be good by the time you hit the ground. But, I
Ian 48:52
mean, it's just, but I think, I think I'm more comfortable
Stoney 48:54
with lying is still safer than driving. Oh, it
Jason 48:56
is, statistically It is, yeah, matter of fact, what is the odds of being in a plane crash versus, I don't know a car crash. I think also, I
Stoney 49:05
do know one statistic that for every American, no matter where you are in America, okay, no matter where you are on the continental United States of America, you have a greater chance of being killed by the Clinton family than you do getting eaten by a great white shark. That's crazy. That's crazy. That's a real statistic. If, if you take all of the people supposedly that the Clintons have killed since he was a governor, and blah, blah, blah, with all of her stuff and his stuff as president, based off of how many attacks there are by sharks, you got, any American, no matter where you are, has a greater chance
Ian 49:49
so So I think from just some quick Google searching, it says the odds of being in a fatal plane crash is around one in 11 million mm. Yeah, while the odds of dying in a fatal car crash are about one in 5000
Jason 50:04
Yeah, and I think, I think, from what I've
Ian 50:08
heard, that some of those numbers may not be completely accurate, as far as, like the plane situation, because I think that I'm not sure how they measure that, but still, I think that that's
Stoney 50:19
still significant enough to, you know, if it's off four or 5% Oh, right,
Jason 50:23
yeah, it just, it's, it's a bad day for you if you just happen to be in that that, you know, that number comes up and you just happen to be in the air when it happens, it's like that flight that disappeared to me. Always feared the idea of crashing into the water airplane. I just thought that would be horrifying. Yeah, I'd just be like, Oh my gosh, we're in the middle of the ocean.
Ian 50:49
Well, the good, well, I don't I've learned a little bit about this. None of this is a good thing or a bad thing, to tell you in that moment. But like, the odds of a plane crash, crashing in the water and you surviving are even lower, like the second, like a big plane actually hits the water, like
Stoney 51:06
water is concrete, yes, and that does not move. There's, you think it moves, yeah, it does not move, right? But I
Ian 51:13
think there are, I think fewer, situations where landing in the water has,
Jason 51:19
I mean, if they can, if they can purposely try to land the plane on water, yeah, I think those planes are like jet liners are designed to temporarily float, yeah, so, but it would have to be a purpose, like the guy in the Hudson River did, Scully. Scully, yeah, like he did, which was absolutely incredible, but
Stoney 51:42
they chewed him up. Oh yeah, because a lot of investigation, they chewed him up, I'm sure they did. Hello, I just saved all these people.
Jason 51:52
That's right. So what's the alternative here? You know? So I, you know, we planes in the water, you know, we all got out of here. We're here talking about it, yeah, otherwise, there'd be a bunch of funerals. So
Ian 52:05
that's, that's a lot of stuff with FAA, a lot of times like, they got to do, yeah, so, but yeah, because they, because, again, I think it's probably a few months back, probably a month or two back, they had that, that Indian airliner that, in the process of, like, taking off, just lost all thrust and just, like, plowed into a building, like that kind of stuff. Where, like, I don't think that they have a full I could be wrong now, they could have a better understanding, but again, of things like that, where, like, no one made it out of that plane crash alive, and it's like, what happened? And I think a lot of it could be mechanical failure, but I think there is some user error as well. And that's the thing, is they, with those kind of situations, they gruel into those people being like, was this, like a unpreventable thing? Was this a mistake on your part kind of thing? So, but anyways, so, but yeah,
Jason 52:56
sir, any other regrets? Any, any things that.
Stoney 53:02
Well, you know, they've been talking about a lot of personal stuff, yeah, but there, there are some missed opportunities in the world that I thought were kind of interesting. And, um, let me, let me see if I can get to my my notes on this right here.
Ian 53:18
I wonder how many like there's a bit a lot of people in history that have, like, really changed history based on a decision.
Stoney 53:27
Well, that's, that's kind of where I want to go if I just got a sorry guys, my brain damage is just like, kicking.
Ian 53:33
I was watching, I was watching a video recently about some like, during the Cold War, like people made, like, people made some decisions that that did not cause action to happen, and how, like, the world could have basically been a different place because of, like, if someone said, if the vote was a yes on all three fronts, then like that, we could have been in, like, in a nuclear war that would have,
Stoney 54:00
you Know, I found my stuff here. Okay, the first missed opportunity Tesla's free energy system. Okay, yeah, okay, that was JP Morgan defunded it because he realized he couldn't make a profit from it. So we didn't go that far. How about Xerox ignoring its own invention, the personal computer. You remember that they said, I know, they let Apple and Microsoft turned it into the future, and they became a footnote instead of a you know, yeah. How about Kodak passing on the digital camera? Kodak, an engineer in Kodak, invented the digital camera in 1975 and shelved it because they feared it would hurt film sales. Oh yeah. And here we are. Yeah, here we are, you know. And, I mean, there's a couple more like that that are just really interesting. Oh yeah, because you know what could have been. Blockbuster. Could have bought, um. Netflix for a million dollars at one time, and now Netflix is almost everything, and you don't even see block. But what they got one blockbuster store left open, yeah,
Jason 55:11
yeah, the encyclopedia. Okay, remember that? I mean they were, I forget.
Stoney 55:18
That's how I studied for a test, World
Jason 55:21
Book, encyclopedia, I believe what company I forget. I asked you know was going to make it digital. And of course, they said, I ain't doing all that. And guess what happened
Stoney 55:30
in 1998 and then again, in 2002 Yahoo passed on buying Google for a million dollars, and now they're worth over $3 billion it's
Jason 55:41
incredible.
Stoney 55:42
That's a missed opportunity.
Jason 55:43
Think about it. People in the beginning buying Apple stock,
Ian 55:49
yes, yes.
Jason 55:52
Can you imagine if, back when it first started, if you mean that, can imagine that stock was as cheap as all get out I mean, you'd be, you'd be a gazillionaire right now, if, if you go back in time, and, you know, learn from that mistake and but you don't know me, realizes it, it's a chance.
Stoney 56:13
That's what this conversation is about, opportunities to
Jason 56:17
opportunities, opportunities. Here's some additional stats I found
Ian 56:24
just before you continue just to kind of put in reference you just made that, that comment about the Apple stock specifically, yeah, it says the um, back in 1980 the initial investment of $1,000 would be a net worth of over $2.1 million today,
Jason 56:40
$1,000 yeah, 1980 that was a lot of money. Yeah, especially, yep, especially with, like, this is stuff, computer company. Computer Company. What is this all about? You know, so on the health front here, I said in a Blue Cross, Blue Shield survey, 63% of adults over 55 regret not taking their health more seriously in their 20s and 30s.
Ian 57:12
We've had a couple episodes, I think, on that people and different Yeah,
Jason 57:15
one in four say they regret not traveling more when they were younger, yeah, and had fewer obligations. That's from an AARP travel trend survey.
Stoney 57:24
Well, we said 2022 in another episode here recently that that the younger generations are going from more memories than stuff. Yeah, they're wanting to do that traveling. They're wanting to do those things because stuff doesn't matter anymore.
Ian 57:37
What I feel like it from personal experience I've heard numerous times from people that have been my parents age, or even people that are my age. They're now having children. They're like, go travel, go on adventures. Now, before you have kids. And I was like, oh gosh. Like, the more they talk about it, the more like, it gets harder and it gets more expensive. And not to say it's impossible, but like, that's why I'm there, impossible. That's one, one sentiment that I've heard numerous times is like, take that trip, take that experience while you can
Jason 58:06
here's another one. When it comes to relationships and personal connection, 61% of divorced people say they regret not going to counseling earlier, wow, or not fighting harder to save their marriage. That's the national fatherhood initiative, 2020 Wow. I can say that I've talked to several people that just gave up on a marriage too soon, or they just didn't want to put the work into it. But back to the education thing, and I kind of mentioned about degrees. It says of those with college degrees, 23% say they regret their choice of major, particularly in the humanities or social sciences. Social Sciences, that's from the Federal Reserve 2022.
Ian 58:56
Interesting
Jason 58:58
So, and look, I get it. You know, we've had this discussion with college and the amount of debt that people have gotten themselves in with degrees that are basically worthless, worthless. They're not even worth the paper they're on. Yeah,
Stoney 59:16
and so you shouldn't be able to get a loan for schooling that. No, can't support yourself.
Jason 59:22
I would, I would. I would probably agree with that today. I would say that, yes, you should to me the degrees that are actually going to kind of move the country forward, technologically, in the sciences and math, and unfortunately,
Stoney 59:40
you see, and I think there should be some that are paid for if you want to become a teacher, right? I think right there your education, and then you have to sign a contract for 10 years to be a teacher, right? Okay, I got law enforcement. Got no problem with that. You know, those type of things that. Can benefit society. Yeah, that's where you should have a free education. All these little lip tarts running around going, Oh, I wanted, I want a degree in basket weaving, and I want the government to pay for it. Screw that
Jason 1:00:12
you get into these, like gender studies. And, you know,
Stoney 1:00:17
basket weaving does not benefit anybody.
Jason 1:00:19
Just, I think some of that stuff is just kind of, I can't even believe they even have offered degrees in there. But as I said, Because colleges have now just become a money there's courses nothing about what they're on.
Stoney 1:00:31
Taylor's Swift. Now you can take classes on Taylor Swift. Really crazy. Major college credited classes, right? And I don't want, I'm not. It's against Taylor Swift. It's just more against of what, what would this class benefit? Somebody, yeah, in their schooling. Oh, it's an elective.
Ian 1:00:52
It's all it's a lot of it now too, is about, it's more so about numbers and demographics and all that kind of stuff, more than it is about actual education. I've talked, I've had a lot of I've been talking to a lot of people about that recently, about how if you are a qualified person, you may not make it in, because they have to have a certain demographic of people around. If there's too many of your demographic, then they're not gonna I'm like, that isn't. I don't understand, like, you have a qualified person. Anyways, it doesn't it's another topic for another day. But you know, they
Jason 1:01:24
say 49% of American workers regret not negotiating their salary in the first job. Wow. That was a Robert Half survey in 2022 and they said 43% of professionals regret not changing careers earlier in life. Zip, recruiter of 2023, study,
Stoney 1:01:44
and now they change it every two years. Yeah. Well, I just
Jason 1:01:47
think the nature of, I just, unfortunately, the workplace has changed, especially corporate. Oh, yeah. I mean, the route you're always more valuable to the competent to the competition. So, I mean, it's just like those lower level and there's no and unfortunately, it's just in the modern corporate world, there's no loyalty. Yeah, so you know it's you wonder why employees have no loyalty to companies. Because companies really have no loyalty the employees. It
Ian 1:02:12
doesn't help to those lower level Oh, I found that one out, didn't I? Yep,
Jason 1:02:16
and they would, as I just saw that California, they, they lost like 18,000 jobs because of the new minimum wage kicked in. Oh, really. And then AI is starting to take over a lot of those. Oh,
Ian 1:02:35
my gosh, that's crazy. So yeah, I think a lot of those lower level positions are meant to be like the meant to rotate out quickly. They're
Stoney 1:02:44
starter jobs. They're kids getting out of high school or in high school, and they're not careers. They're supposed to teach you some basics in life, some money management, some responsibilities to, you know, having leaders to becoming a leader, and then, you know, year or two later, hey, go find a job you're supposed to be in now you got 3040, 5060, year olds going, I can't support myself. Go get a real job.
Jason 1:03:10
Well, I think fundamentally is, this is the question that is going to confront society. As AI say, the big talk was how all the blue collar jobs disappeared, yeah, well, now the white collar jobs are disappearing. So I'll be very curious how that plays out within those circles. Is it, you know? What do they tell people in the blue collar world? Well, just go learn programming, you know, yeah, like, not everybody can program. So right
Stoney 1:03:44
now, the white collar gets to go learn how to dig a
Jason 1:03:47
ditch, right? Well, that's what I'm saying. It's like, okay, so what's gonna what's mean, what are people to do? Yeah, there's just more people than they are jobs, yes,
Stoney 1:03:58
and that's why Bill Gates has the answer of killing two thirds of the people on the planet through vaccinations and fertility control. I mean, it's because he's waiting for
Jason 1:04:09
this right now, the world population keeps growing. I think it's like at 8 billion now, so the projections are to be even more, right?
Ian 1:04:19
So if that's even real, that's true. I'm how you determine
Jason 1:04:26
world populations. I don't
Ian 1:04:28
know. I'm making a nod to a previous episode we did, yeah, and a potential future episode. I think potential future we talked about China. I think we had on the right,
Jason 1:04:37
you know, them being supposed to the most populous country for Yeah, I think India just passed them up. Yeah.
Stoney 1:04:43
India passed them up sometime last year, I believe Yeah. And so yeah, well,
Ian 1:04:46
I'm curious to hear about people's all the people's missed opportunities, or people
Stoney 1:04:51
let us know your missed opportunity. You can send it to us on our email or something, and let us know your your missed opportunity.
Ian 1:04:59
Yeah, we got comment sections on Spotify and YouTube for anybody who wants to leave us comments there. I want to appreciate everybody who listens to us on all the platforms, Spotify, Apple podcast, YouTube, we got a whole bunch of different places where and all the other different platforms as well. I think there's a lot of different areas where you can either like or rate. So again, that kind of stuff helps the show out. And sometimes
Stoney 1:05:21
it says, send us a text, yeah.
Jason 1:05:26
Share the podcast. Yes. Please share it
Ian 1:05:29
with somebody, especially if this one, if you feel like this one, hits you in a special place, because I know this one did for me. We also have the website,
Stoney 1:05:37
yes, retrospect, podcast.com, yes.
Ian 1:05:40
And with that being said Until next week, thank you so much for listening. Bye, bye.
Jason 1:05:45
Goodbye, everyone. God bless.
Stoney 1:05:48
There's this lie that we sometimes believe that we missed our one shot, that the train left the station, that it's too late. But here's the truth, life rarely works that way. Sure you missed that opportunity, maybe you didn't call when you should have, or you ignored your gut or settled when you should have stood up. But redemption, it's still on the table. Life has a way of offering new doors, but you have to be willing to see them, and sometimes they don't look like the shiny, perfect options we dreamed of. They look like second chances, hard conversations or scary new roads, but they're real and they're yours if you're willing to risk again. So take a break, stop rehearsing the past, and ask yourself, what door could I walk through now, if I stop waiting for the Perfect one I already missed, you're the best, peace.