Retrospect
Retrospect
Why We Respond The Way We Do | Retrospect Ep.204
In this week’s episode we discussed how different people react to the ups and downs of life. Why do some people thrive under pressure while others shut down? How do our backgrounds, beliefs, and personalities shape the way we process what happens to us? We dive into the psychology of reactions and hear real stories that show just how uniquely we all experience life.
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Retrospect
Keywords
human response, stimuli, generational differences, air conditioning, car buying, technology addiction, social media, mental health, emotional reactions, cultural context, dopamine response, attention spans, digital overload, generational perspectives, reaction pipeline
Jason 0:01
I every day, we're surrounded by stimuli, the honk of a car horn, the buzz of a phone, the sudden touch on the shoulder, and whether we realize it or not, each of these triggers a reaction. Sometimes it's automatic. A heart skips a beat. We flinch, we smile. Other times. It's shaped by who we are and what we've been through. Two people can face the same moment and walk away with completely different feelings, one anxious, the other inspired. That's the mystery of human response. We're not machines programmed with one outcome. We're storytellers, filtering every sound, sight and sensation through memory, emotion and culture. Stimuli may strike the same note, but the song we play is always unique. So today we're asking, why do we react the way we do? And more importantly, what do our reactions say about us? You
Ian 1:20
Ian, welcome to the retrospect podcast, a show where people come together from different walks of life and discuss a topic from a generation's perspective. My name is Ian, and as always, I'm joined by Jason. Hello, everyone and Stoney, Hello. How's it going?
Jason 1:37
Well, things were going good today, but I think the air conditioning in my car is fixing to crap out on me. So, oh no, yeah, I'm probably this is probably going to make me just go buy a new car, because I'm at that point with it. I mean, the car is now over 11 years old.
Ian 2:01
I was gonna make a throw, throw the baby out with the bathwater joke. But I was like, No, you've had the car. I've had a long time.
Jason 2:06
So I, you know, I've just, I've just just not wanting to buy a new car. No, I just hate that whole experience, yes, because it's just terrible. Because always feel like I'm walking away, I'm getting screwed over. And I am right. You just, you
Stoney 2:25
just, well, anytime you buy a new car, you're basically getting screwed over, because the minute you drive it off the lot, you lose 33% Yeah, of the value of the vehicle. So you just got screwed Yeah, oh, yeah.
Jason 2:36
But the only thing is, I keep cars for a long time, right? And that's why I've always bought new because I just knew I was gonna keep that car for a while. So I'd rather it have zero miles than 25 or 35,000 miles on it.
Ian 2:54
And you know, all the things that have gone on on
Jason 2:56
it exactly. So, you know, it's back and forth. This might be the year I actually look at a certified use vehicle. Okay, so there's a I'm really high on the on the Genesis line, okay? And I actually, Tracy and I went test drove some vehicles last it was a lot. Was that last weekend or two weekends ago, maybe the last weekend I drove that, I drove the Genesis gV 80, which is a fine
Ian 3:28
automobile I've been inside whatever. They're like, sedan one is kind of their more I think midline one, yeah, it was really nice.
Jason 3:36
Yeah, the GV 80 is that, like top and you know what I like about it? It's got a v8 engine in it. Oh, there we go. They have a v8 engine. It's a 3.5 turbo. So he gets up and goes,
Ian 3:50
here, Jason, he retires. He gets a v8 he's down, engaged, yeah,
Jason 3:56
with a 3.5 Yeah, it's a 3.5 turbo.
Stoney 3:59
V eights are usually five point,
Jason 4:02
yeah? Well,
Stoney 4:04
that's a, what is it? Little itty bitty valve.
Ian 4:09
Genesis is like a, like a luxury brand. So, yeah,
Jason 4:13
it's a luxury line. It's the luxury line of Hyundai, just like Lexus with Toyota, right, right, right. You know, infinity with Nissan, kind of same, same thing. But, you know, the problem is, I mean, you go, look at other they're putting nothing but four four cylinders now in cars. I mean, my, the car I have now is a four cylinder. Yeah, it's a 2.0 turbo. And I guess they're trying to meet these fuel efficiency numbers, and they're all going to, they're all going to four cylinders. I was disappointed, because I was really looking at the Toyota Forerunner as a potential vehicle. It's going to four cylinder, yeah, which is just disappointing. I have no idea why they dropped the v6 but they, they, they're, they're going to a four cylinder. So. I don't know what we'll say. I really would like to wait toward the end of the year, yeah, because that's the best time to buy cars than trying to deal with that right now.
Stoney 5:12
But, well, I got a buddy. We can call him up. Maybe we can get a deal on getting your AC fixed about that. Yeah, we'll see.
Ian 5:18
Yeah, that's one thing around here, it gets hot enough around here where, like, I know in certain probably parts of the world, like AC is kind of a luxury, and you probably don't need AC a lot, but around here, during certain parts of the year, it gets, I feel like it's it's unbearable, and it's almost a dangerous so
Stoney 5:38
I agree, but I think we're also spoiled a little bit because we did the same jobs, a lot of the same jobs before there was air conditioning, and people actually dressed in suits and ties to go back and forth to work
Jason 5:51
exactly. I think about how people look back in those photos.
Stoney 5:56
Remember in the house the attic fan, yeah, and you had this big fan in the hallway, yeah. And when you wanted it to get cool, you just cracked all the windows two inches. And that's part of how the IC
Ian 6:09
works were built different. I was watching a video recently about that, about how, like, how structures were, like, created to, like, open the front and back doors.
Stoney 6:20
And then that was the old shotgun house, and the way the wind blew through there, right? It's like things like that, and how, you know, you crack the little windows there, and as it went through the long hallway, it sucked the air through that and made the rooms cooler.
Ian 6:33
Certain parts of the day, everything would shut down during like the hardest, the hottest part of the afternoon, because everyone would go inside for a while because it was and then would open back up in the in the early evening. And I was like, man, so yeah, I think it's a product of the time, but I think for me, personally, I've been in a vehicle that has not not had AC in the hottest part of the summer. And I was like, I think I'm gonna pass out.
Stoney 6:59
Can you imagine being the first person in your town with air conditioning in our car, you got to be, you know, or your house, a big man on
Ian 7:06
campus. Yeah, it's but I feel like this is a great, a great segue into, how
Stoney 7:12
do you react to certain stimuli in your
Jason 7:14
life? Can't go buy a new car.
Ian 7:18
That's what you do. That's the one thing I have said. I have bought used cars time and time again throughout my adult life. And the one thing that I always will say is it can. It can, as long as it can drive on its home power and has work in AC in this area we live in, I'm fine.
Stoney 7:36
It can be your AC goes out. How do you react? I and,
Ian 7:39
and I get, I'd get a bit irate, because I'm like, I can't, I can't. That's one of those things where, like, I have gotten I again, I'm privileged, and I know that, and I'm not saying I'm not, but the second the AC goes out, I'm like, Oh, heavens no, I can't, I can't do that.
Jason 7:54
It just, literally just happened today. I actually, I was fine yesterday. I've been having problems with it, and just today, I got in the car and realized it's not doing the last time I had this problem, my I had a hole in the hose. Yeah, there, and that got fixed, and it was working just fine. So I don't know what's going on again. It may be it's just starting to crap out on me. I mean, it could be as the hard part the car is, you know, when you get car gets 1112, years old. I mean, it's just, they're not meant to, yeah, bound to happen. Things are gonna happen. I mean,
Ian 8:28
that's the hard part with AC. It could be a hose, or it could be the whole, well, it could be a compressor,
Jason 8:33
right? And that's, that's a lot of money I get that, so we'll see. But yeah, but yeah, that's what I'm dealing with right now. But yeah, today I had some I had electrician come to the house and was doing some work, some stuff that I've been needing to get done. Not everything got done yet because he's got to bring some, some additional, some equipment. I've got a couple things that got some fixtures that have no power to them right now. And I don't know, I don't know what the issue is, right? And he was a bit kind of perplexed.
Ian 9:07
Have the same issue with light switches in this house. I don't
Jason 9:10
know if there's a wiring, if there's a break in the wire somewhere, or something's going on, but I'm trying to get some of all this stuff kind of done.
Stoney 9:19
Sounds like you're falling apart after your retirement. I'm telling you, no,
Ian 9:23
I think he's just, I think it's more so the fact that he's he's realizing the the little things that were like, oh, it's no big deal. But now that he's got someone else in the house, well, you know, and
Jason 9:34
just also, from future standpoint of, you know, eventually, you know, Tracy now probably looking for somewhere else and trying to get the house to a position where you can sell. Have less, less stuff coming up on the inspection room. If I choose, if I choose to sell, I may rent it. Okay, I may rent the house. So I haven't that's not been decided yet what I'm going to do yet, but I mean, some of the stuff has to get fixed. And. And get all these the all these outlets working, and making sure you know that kind of stuff is done. So I was busy today with Adam, went out Randall, got my five miles in this morning, and came home, literally, when I got home, he electrician showed up, like, 15 minutes later. So okay, it's been busy today. Time to do much of anything.
Ian 10:23
And we're also a little spoiler. We're, we're recording this on Labor Day. Yeah, for me, I was like, I had nothing really to do because I'm technically off. So except for this,
Jason 10:35
it's been nice. Yeah, I've enjoyed it. I love a day off during the week. I really do. I really, kind of wish that I had a Monday or Friday off.
Ian 10:47
Yeah, the current place I'm employed, I have off on Mondays, and it's really
Jason 10:52
nice. Yeah, that day off during the week helps, yeah, because you can get a lot of stuff done. Oh, yeah, whereas Saturday,
Stoney 11:00
it's nothing that you need is going to be open.
Jason 11:03
Yeah, that's the problem. And so, yeah, I'm dealing with all that right now. And but you know, whatever, we'll get it done. We'll get it done. What about y'all
Ian 11:14
so far this weekend, I, I was able to go and hang out with a bunch of friends, and just kind of, obviously, everyone was having a long weekend. It's the start of the football season, so everyone's doing something, right, you know. So everyone had some sort of get together, or some sort of party or whatever. So I was just, you know, popping in at all the places, saying hello to everyone, because, you know, everyone's having that fun on the long weekend. And, and it was really good. It was really a great opportunity just to kind of unwind a little bit and get, you know, get out my comfort zone. A lot of times as more introverted person I can, I find myself getting cooped up a lot. And so it was nice to kind of just get out of there and talk to a bunch of people and hang out and have some fun and and listen to some live music. I'm always so good live music and, and there's, there's, there's some, some friends and people that are like, Hey, we should start a band. And I'm like, for the right price, we could definitely do it. And people are like, we got money now. And so I was like, Okay, now let's sit down and talk. So there may be some, maybe something fun happening in the works, I don't know. So that was a bunch of, what? A bunch of that that happened this weekend. So it was really good. What kind of a band? I'm not sure yet. I think that's one. That's one of those things we'll probably talk about as it comes to fruition. But the conversation, which makes me feel proud as a musician and as a person a lot, is the conversations that that group of friends were having. They were like we were talking about doing this. We're talking about who the right people would be for this. And your name came up a lot as a bass player, and that's what I play primarily, or what I've played professionally, really. And so that, yeah, that obviously makes you feel really good. It's like, whenever some people are talking in that sphere and they're like, and your name is always brought up, or was brought up a lot by different people, you're like, that feels pretty nice. That's, yeah, you know. So that was, that was, that was the beginning of that was the beginning of that cup. So whenever I popped into the conversation, they're like, Oh, we were talking about you, and we want, we want to you to be a part of this thing.
Jason 13:06
So as long as you can make money doing
Ian 13:08
it, and that's what, and that's what I tell them. I hate to say that, but like, I can, it's hard that group of friends. I don't have to make a crazy amount of money to have fun with them and to do that, but for the amount of effort they want me to put into it, and the amount of time and kind of dedication it would kind of, I would, you would want some return on your investment, yeah, for some of that stuff. So that's, that's something for me as an artist that has done music and has done graphic design and photography, I've balanced that out throughout my my whole career.
Stoney 13:37
So, but you said they were making money, so it sounds like an already. I think what they're saying
Ian 13:42
is that they have money. They have investors that are willing to put money down to like, you know, set up a few gigs, and to have, like, the payment already. So we're not worrying about all that stuff. And so there's a few venues that want us there that that kind of stuff. It's about a lot of the they've done the logistic work behind the scenes to, like, get people interested in us as a group. And so I was like, hey, that's that is, that is a further step in that conversation than I've had with anybody else before. It's always been like, Oh, this is a cool idea, and then it goes nowhere, whereas this is more they're being really proactive. And that's why I'm like, Okay, I'll consider it. Yeah. So that's a, you know, something if, as far as a reaction for
Jason 14:24
me, if it's something, you know, I mean, I enjoy, it seems exciting. And, yeah, it seems you obviously enjoy that. So, you know, I mean, if, if it's no, you know, other than your time, right? You know, I guess there's depends on how much time you want to devote to that,
Ian 14:41
if we're talking about if we're keeping this in line with the theme of this episode, there is, there's nothing I love more than playing music, especially playing music to a group of people or a crowd of people. I just love that feeling. I love being on stage. I love performing. I love playing music. I love seeing people getting. Engaged in music. It's just, it's something that brings me so much joy. So I've been able to do, like, little odd jobs here and there, and this may be a little bit more involved. It may just be a season, who knows.
Stoney 15:12
But, like I said, it's cool. What's that reaction that I liked as a chef type person? Oh my gosh, yes. I used to have something called the guinea pig list. And at one time, there was like 200 plus people on this mass text, Oh, yeah. And I would text this mass text and say, Okay, I'm trying out a new recipe on this. And the first 12 people that respond to this text for this date at this time, get a seat at the table, and you never know who you could be sitting next to a politician, a monster, a police officer, a construction worker, a librarian. These were just people in my life that loved my food, loved conversation, just you never know who you were going to sit down with, and you got a free meal. But right next to the plate was a survey, and that was the thing. You had to fill the survey out on the food, right? What you liked, what you didn't like, then blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, and then 30 days later, that guaranteed you a seat back at the table with those same people to try the new, tweaked out version of whatever it was, because then I would spend the next month and tweak it, try it, tweak it, try it, right? And you never knew. But there's a moment, you know, we're talking about stimuli and reactions to certain things as a, you know, Chef, cook type person, all of a sudden you have all these fantastic people from your life sitting there that don't know each other, may know each other, and talking and chatter and banter back and forth. And all of a sudden there's this one moment when there's no conversation, oh, yeah, and everybody's pushing a little bit of food with their knife on their fork or something, and it's just quiet. And, you know, you did it, right? Yep, you know, people are talking, oh yeah. And it's, it's fascinating, and that's, you know, so when we're doing this about, you know, reactions and things like that, that's the reaction you want to your food. Oh yeah, people having a good time and enjoying life, and, oh yeah, trying some good
Ian 17:25
food. In that same vein, I've always loved. I like making I like cooking for smaller groups, friends and family and things like that. And whenever I really work on making this meal, I'm not any kind of crazy chef by any means, but I try my best to make something that's really nice. And I tell you what, there's nothing I love more than when someone like, oh my gosh, this looks amazing, and then takes that first bite, and they go,
Stoney 17:48
I heard you make chocolate chip cookies, but I don't have any evidence.
Jason 17:53
Maybe this, maybe this, this fall,
Stoney 17:55
yeah, yeah. I heard there's some really good chocolate chip cookies or something.
Jason 17:59
It may be a little time for us to have some chocolate chip cookie.
Ian 18:03
The funny thing is, I had a conversation yesterday about this. I have a friend of mine who is a who's a baker, and is, like, doing, she makes sourdough and all kinds of other sourdough type things, and and bakes and all sorts of stuff. And she was like, I need another one of those batches of cookies, just so I could, like, try them again and and kind of get the word around. So, like, I think this, this in the next coming months.
Jason 18:27
I would, I would, this is a proposition I have for you. If you make a batch for for Stoney and I, okay, I will go and get us some elephant poop coffee, and we'll have some elephant poop coffee at the same time, we're eating some of these wonderful chocolate chip cookies.
Ian 18:47
I don't feel like that's a return on investment, but like, for you, at least, like, what the amount of money you're putting into that you're getting out of it. I think the cookies are good, but okay, that's that's definitely that makes me feel special, that you think so highly.
Jason 19:01
Void made me think that was the was looking at my my card on Amazon, and it's there. There it is. It's the elephant poop coffee, right there.
Stoney 19:11
So one of my idols, she's a chef from the California area. Her name is Dominique Corinne, and she has a quote, If we all took the time to appreciate food and the company of others, the world would be a better place.
Ian 19:25
100% I agree with that. Think about that also the there's, there's something magical that happens at the table with food and drink. As a person who is a Christian like obviously, there's a big deal with communion and that whole aspect too. And always, things always happening around a table, a dinner table of some kind. I just think there's something so inherently human and something so spiritual and emotional and like there's just some there's something special that happens when you get people around a table with food and drink and
Stoney 19:57
music and music as well. I've. I've said for years and years and years that that food and music is a true universal language, because you can have people from different races, different cultures, different anything. And if the food's good and the music sounds nice, yeah, everybody's going to be calm and relax and enjoy it, and you can still have a conversation with your smile about how good the food is, or how you're reacting, you know, a little jam into the music, or whatever. And again, that comes in the frequency and how many, but it's a reaction to trying to bring this, you know, and stay into the realm of, you know, today, of what the topic is. And I'll throw into this, I did this thing, you know, um, what is your reaction to stimuli? Is kind of the topic of today. Well, what counts as stimuli? You have three types, external, internal and social, symbolic. And I probably said that wrong. I don't give a shit assuming what is external, sight, sounds, touch, heat and other people's words or faces. What is internal thoughts, memories and body sensations, heartbeat, hunger and pain and social status cues, rules, beliefs, values and identity signals. So we're reacting to all of these things. This is where our reactions come from.
Jason 21:26
Well, I've got some stuff here from a generational perspective on how different generations have kind of how they react to certain things. I found this somewhat interesting. Here they say baby boomers, of course, some of the things they're shaped by their post war stability. Television as the dominant medium and face to face interaction, they're more attuned to direct physical stimuli, tone of voice, body language, in person, conflict. Studies have shown boomers tend to have stronger physiological stress responses to confrontation, but less sensitivity to constant digital interruption. So some examples of that would be a buzzing phone might be seen as an annoyance, not a crisis, but a public disagreement or a raised voice can trigger a sharper emotional response that's interesting. Generation X, the transition from analog to digital, the rise of personal computers and a culture of independence, typical reactions often a blend. They can adapt to digital stimuli, but still respond strongly to traditional in person cues. They report moderate stress from multitasking, though less than younger generation. So here's some examples of that. An overload of email notifications may frustrate them, but they're more likely than Boomers to take it in stride, and less likely than millennials to feel overwhelmed. Millennials, internet boom, social media, 24/7, connectivity, highly reactive, responsive to social stimu, stimuli, especially digital ones. The research shows higher rates of anxiety and stress to the constant flow of notifications and online comparisons, the brains tend to anticipate digital signals, showing dopamine responses to pings, likes and messages. An example of that a phone vibrating on the table can spark instant attention, even anxiety, oh yeah, because of the constant pressure to respond.
Stoney 23:54
Well, that's what we do. I agree with that 100% we just what was it two weeks ago? The show was the instant world. Everything's instant. That dopamine, everything, bam, I got to have it now. Bam, bam, bam. Whereas a boomer like me, I don't I don't care if the phone beeps, I don't have to go run for it. If I look at it like this, back in the day before you had all of this stuff, if the phone rang and you didn't get it, what did you say? What was my reaction to it? Well, if it's important enough, they'll call me back. But now, as soon as that, you look at that, and you can look on tick tock and all these videos, the phone beeping, and they're messing with you, doing it on purpose, just to get the reaction because you're turning your head. It was, it's crazy. It's part of this dope, you know this dopamine instant world, Jason, I'm sorry to interrupt you. Go ahead. No, no, it just made me think about that was what the whole show was two weeks ago, about that instant response. Yep, that's what we want. That's an instant response to that stimuli,
Jason 24:54
Generation Z they're shaped by smartphones. Tiktok, global, Chrome. Devices and hyper connected digital world, they're extremely sensitive to fast paced, bite sized stimuli. Gen Z reports higher stress levels from online interactions, cyber bullying and the information overload. They're also quicker to adapt to visual and auditory multitasking, like scrolling while streaming music, just some examples, silence, no notifications, no updates, can actually be more stressful than constant buzzing. They're wired for stimulation.
Stoney 25:38
But what did they say? When? When? What was it not Facebook before that, MySpace, there were there. There was a neurosis that was, that was generated. Or what were they defined a neurosis of the selfie people, right? These women and some men that would take so many selfies and post them, because that was how they define themselves, you know, and they're just the reactions, like you said to like some, some Somebody asked me the other day, it's one of our listeners, and we were just having a conversation. And we love it when we get responses and reviews of the show. I love that. I love reading them on and letting everybody hear it. They said, you know, have y'all gotten any bad ones? Yeah, we get a couple words. Some people say some stuff that how do you and their word was, how do you react? Or how do you sleep at night knowing that somebody could give you a bad review on the show. And I said, That's simple. I sleep with no underwear. And they were like, what I said, Yeah, so they can kiss my ass. That's how I sleep at night. Because I I love that, and I would hate the fact that we said, I don't want to offend anybody, but not everybody's always going to agree with 100% but sometimes we're too open and too free in our ugly reactions and reviews,
Ian 27:04
there has been people that have commented on this show about me, specifically about like, like that. They don't want me a part of this show, and it's like, and I'm glad, and I'm glad that you feel that way. But guess what, I'm not going nowhere. So either, either you can stop listening, or you can we're whole or not, or you can just not agree with my perspective. That's okay. We have two other perspectives, right?
Stoney 27:26
It's the whole part of the show. That's part of what was in that conversation was one week you might agree with me, one week you might not, yeah, and that's okay. I still sleep with no wonder in the weeks you don't like it, kiss my ass.
Jason 27:38
Are you going commando? But
Stoney 27:42
anyway, it's it's real. I I like, I think we're all perfectionists on this show. I think we all want to put out a good show, but not everybody's always going to agree with us, and that's okay. I'm okay with that, because we're still going to do what we do. It's like that lady that wrote in about the gaming. Oh, I don't I hate gaming because my husband and my boys, but she listened to the show and wound up with a whole new perspective about gaming. Went to her husband and boys differently, and then they started treating her different, right, in a positive fashion, was the way that review went. I love that, because, yeah, you might not agree, or you may not like it, but can you benefit from it? And that's to me, Well,
Ian 28:29
I think also too, if there's if those are the kind of people, too, that will really vocalize that they don't like a certain person, and then and they're okay with hiding behind their anonymity, and they're going to be that mean, that ugly about it, called Internet balls. Some people have some massive internet, not even that, not even that, because I think it's coward, it's that's what I'm talking
Stoney 28:49
about, because they're on the internet and you can't get to them. They got great internet.
Ian 28:52
What I'm trying to say is, is it if, if that's the kind of people that are hanging around and that they feel the need to comment and say something like that, and if my presence here makes you so upset that you want to leave, then that's good, I think, because I don't want people like that on the show, I don't want i Yes, I think every listener is a good listener, but at a certain point, if that's the way you feel about it, don't listen to the show, especially if you feel the Need to hide behind your anonymity and say some very mean things about me personally, or about any other other hosts of this show, don't listen, please.
Stoney 29:28
I still want them to listen, because there are two other people, and that's what this show about, is the differences, right? They're not going to like you for a certain reason, right? Where they might like me, but there's going to be other people who don't like me for certain reasons that are going to love you,
Ian 29:45
correct? And all I'm saying is that if my presence here makes you that upset, you have to say something about it. Then that's where I think I draw that line. I'm like, It's okay. I don't I don't need you here respectfully. But yeah,
Jason 29:59
well, I had one. More generation to really talk about real quick. Just it's called now, the first time I've heard this generation alpha, okay, I haven't heard this. Yes, they're the ones. So these are people born after 2013 Goodness gracious. And they're basically shaped by AI voice assistance, immersive technology. They said, the studies are right now, still early, but they are highly responsive to interactive, gamified stimuli, and may have shorter attention spans. Their reactions are conditioned by immediate feedback loops in digital learning and entertainment. They say a delayed response, like waiting more than a few seconds for a video to load can spark frustration faster than any previous generation. So I could see that, because as as the Tech has just gotten faster and faster and faster and how quickly information can come back, right, I can see people that have grown up in a world of just getting that all the time, I could see then, yeah, it's slow for us. For people that had to, either had to read books or take time to let things come it doesn't bother us nearly as much. So, you know, that's just kind of a that's kind of interesting. Here I see baby boomers here say, talk about equating phone separation with anxiety. Say, a striking contrast to younger generation, only 35% of boomers feel anxious when with when they're without their phones, while 44% disagree.
Stoney 31:40
Yeah. See, I could walk away from my phone and never have a problem with
Jason 31:43
that. You know, say coping styles, boomers favor physical activity to manage stress and are less likely to bed rot compared to Gen Z 7% to 24% and then, of course, boomers often see themselves as mentally stronger and downplay the need to talk about emotional struggles. We've all heard that 74% perceive their generation's mental health as significantly better. Wait, do that again, 74% of boomers perceive their generation's mental health as significantly better.
Stoney 32:22
Absolutely agree. All you got to do is look at the videos that are on Tiktok and Instagram and everything else where you tell one of these kids today, no, and they're screaming and hollering and trying to punch police officers and, you know, just ridiculous. Yeah? No. Ours is stronger, yeah?
Jason 32:40
Generation X here showing 45% of Gen Xers feel anxious without their phones, compared to 50% of 53% of millennials and just 35% of boomers communication. So growing preference for text based communication over calls. This phone anxiety is also shared with millennials and Gen Z for millennials, attachment to devices. 63% of millennials say they feel attached to their phones or tablets. Double the rate for other adults, 70% report anxiety when separated from their devices, and then self awareness about misuse. 58% believe anxiety is the main side effect of compulsive phone use. 43% won't go to the bathroom without their smartphones, and 20% say their phone disrupts sleep.
Stoney 33:46
Oh, that is true. Oh, yeah, that is true. And all you have to do is look at the young people today and just the reactions I remember a couple of times when I've had to take away Miranda son's phone, right? He loses his mind. They've equated this electronics addiction to being addicted to heroin. Oh yeah, the exact same thing. And the responses with how it is, even the withdrawal symptoms, right? What the first time you try heroin, you're addicted for the rest of your life. Some of these young people today are so addicted to the phone that is ridiculous. They can't their withdrawals. And her son, my stepson, would literally go crazy. But then you watch the videos on YouTube and other platforms like that, where you take it away, and these young kids. There was a 15 year old boy, his mom took away his phone, and he completely destroyed the apartment that they lived in, the walls the everything, he smashed everything because that phone got taken. Away from me, they haven't heard the word no. Well, yeah, and
Jason 35:05
it's Gen Z. I'm gonna read it's a mental health vulnerability. Only 45% report good or excellent mental health. 91% experience depression or anxiety symptoms with stress often tied to societal issues like gun violence or political instability. Over half of Gen Z and millennials struggle to limit their screen time. Concerns about digital activity harming their physical and psychological well being are higher in the in these groups compared to older consumers, and then a predilection for messaging. 59% prefer emails or instant messages over phone calls, and 50% feel uncomfortable making business calls, a clear generational divide. And say in the UK, 30% of younger workers, 21 to 34 say increased work notifications impact their ability to spend quality time with loved ones. Many report anxiety from alerts as intense as that caused by spiders or the dentist.
Stoney 36:20
Really? Wow, wow.
Ian 36:23
So that's impressive. And
Jason 36:26
then, of course, the new generation alpha, you know, that's a lot of that research is still early, so it's kind of hard to really, kind of make any
Ian 36:37
well, those born after 2013 you said, I think that's, that's putting them at 10. Well, it's probably like 12 years old and younger, yeah.
Jason 36:46
Well, they were born after 2013 Yeah.
Ian 36:50
So that, I think that would put the oldest in that bracket at 12. So, I mean, that's, you know, that's still pretty young, but I guess it's still young enough to get data for some stuff, but not like in an adult sense, I think, which I have that's, I'm scared and fascinated to see what is going to play out in that generation in the future.
Jason 37:14
Well, I just, I just think as the tech gets it's more and more kind of integrated in our lives. Basically, people gonna have implants, you know, I mean, in their heads to basically get instant information. I mean, I can, I mean, I mean, I know that sounds like crazy talk, but I just, I kind of see that going that way. I mean, the tech is getting smaller and smaller. I just, I mean, it's not, it's not a, it's not a far fetch for me to say that, I just feel like that's just coming. I mean, I
Ian 37:54
think it's also, I think people are going to be very heavily reliant on their selection of LLM, like that are chat, GBT, that are grok, that are whatever the heck they they use. It's already in in the older generations, and like myself and and X generation, there's people that are that have a heavy reliance on that stuff now. And I'm just I worry for the future as to what, what that usage of that's going to be so,
Jason 38:26
yeah, I mean, I don't know, crazy, yeah, I don't, I don't know what the, you know, what the long term, the long term effects of this, what we're built, what we're building right now, what will be the long term effects of this? I don't know. I mean, you know, it's, it's, I hope that we can get to a man. I'm not Doom and Doom and gloom. I'm not afraid of tech. I've never been one of these people to be like. I think Tech has helped us. I think it's a tool, but like anything, it can be abused, and there are effects that we really don't understand, how it affects the brain and anything like that, so
Stoney 39:13
Well, I think part of it is, is there's a reaction pipeline. We're talking about reactions to certain stimuli, and part of that is this pipeline that I found. It's called sensation, perception, appraisal, emotion, action, tendency and behavior. And so sensation is just basically the raw input that hits the senses or arises from inside the body and mind perception now is how the brain organizes it. What is this? That's attention, pattern organization, things like that, appraisal, meaning making fast, automatic judgments. Is this good? Is this bad? Is this threat? Is this a challenge? And how is this relevant? To my goals. And then once you get through all that, you get to the emotion coordinated changes in the body and mind, arousal, feelings, facial expressions. And then your action tendencies, your built in urges, approach, avoid, freeze or appease. And then your behavior is now the visible response, your word, your choices, your actions, and these are shaped by habits, skills and context. So, I mean, when you look at it, that's when you're going through that reaction. You're kind of going through all of those phases to get to your reaction. But sometimes, in some people, it's just very instantaneous, right? And that's, you know, wow, just for how many reactions a day? Didn't we have this on a show where we talked about how many decisions or choices we make a day, and it was like 33,000 right?
Jason 40:52
I guess, however you they measure that, you know, you know.
Stoney 40:56
And then there's so many other things that make up how we make this reaction to a certain stimuli, and it's why, why? What makes people so different? And it's the makeup, the biological and trait level, your temperament, your genetics, the neuro chemistry and the hormones running through your body. You know where a 45 year old man is going to react different than a 13 or 14 year old boy who's got all these new hormones coursing through it your you know, psychology and the state of mind you're in, you know, are you sleeping enough? Are you getting, you know, enough food. What's the fatigue level you're at? Those are going to cause reactions to be different, and then your personality and the capacities just in your life, what are you capable of doing? What are you not capable of doing? Are you going to react to something? Because when you went through that, that the pipeline, and you got to a point that maybe you're not capable of it. And then the second thing is, is your memory? You're learning, you learned history and your beliefs, that's going to cause you to react a certain way, and then you know, your your sensation, your sensation, and your cultural context also is going to play where in America, because of the culture that we have, will react differently, maybe than somebody in Venezuela or Brazil or Japan or something else. In Japan, people are very polite in certain ways. In Canada, you said people are kind of polite there in certain ways. But how do they react to other things? Oh, yeah, so that's also something else that's going to create a reaction out of people, definitely.
Ian 42:43
I just hope that like the pendulum can swing in a different way, that like we can, and I know that it's not going to be easy, and I don't, I don't think this is factual, but like I we're talking about, you know, over reliance on technology and super short attention spans and all that stuff. I just hope that there's a way we can get away from algorithms and social media and all that stuff like I just know that it's not going to be easy. I've been trying really hard to stay away from it, and I've been doing a lot better now than I have in the past, and which I know has its own pros and cons and whatever, but yeah, I just hope that there's a way we can swing back around from that.
Stoney 43:30
Well, one of the things that is happening today, and like Jason said earlier, was the emotions, how the older generations, the boomers, their certain emotions were a certain way. And these young kids today, they're a little bit more free with their emotions than we were, to the point of where I can sit there and doom scroll for hours watching these people react to how they react to police, these young kids today screaming and hollering. And you know, it's crazy, but all you know, emotions aren't always the enemy. Emotions were designed at one point in time that helped civilize us. They were about needs and goals. Fear protected you. Anger sometimes set boundaries. Sadness was for loss and repair, and joy was for approach and engagement. And how does that happen? Well, your body kind of works together, and we've discussed this in the past. Your body is basically a pharmacy, and it produces dopamine. It produces things in your body, talking with what was it? Troy on one episode when we did that cold freeze thing for three and a half minutes, and what the body does and change things well, your body readies you. It's your heart rate, your muscle tone, your attention, which can be useful if it's matched in the right situation, and costly if it. Miscalibrated, and part of that is the stimuli coming in and what you're ready for. What are you mentally capable of? Well, as this is a generational show, what Jason said, You know us old people, we believe we're mentally capable of handling a lot more than these young people today, and when you just look at how people are in the world today, these young people, I kind of, I kind of agree with that. I hate to be a maybe today is the day I'll be the one that, uh, offends everybody. I doubt it. But when you look at it, these young people today are not mentally capable of handling a lot, right?
Ian 45:38
But I think it's also, I think, I think some of the stuff I'm talking about is more ubiquitous across generations, like over reliance on social media, chat, GPT stuff, like, that's not something that's just one generation that's focusing on that. Like, I'm I'm noticing it. Like, it's across the spectrum. It's, it's people in society, regardless of age. Like, having an over reliance on social media. There's people that I know that are in an older age bracket that I think have a real addiction to Facebook. It's an unhealthy addiction, and it's like, something you do, like, I don't think they see that, but it's like, you gotta there's something going on there, whereas, like, for my generation, it may be more Instagram or something else like that, or again, younger generations, maybe Tiktok. But I think even Tiktok right now, I think is ubiquitous. I think regardless of generation, I think Tiktok has a way of sucking everybody in,
Stoney 46:31
and that's why I don't classify them individual. I just say electronics addiction, correct complete electronics addiction, because that's what it is. It all stems from this phone, oh, yeah, this pad, and that computer.
Ian 46:44
But it's, but it's these algorithms that have such a hold on your attention, that have such a they know how to trigger that reaction that,
Jason 46:52
well, you promote, your promoting, or, I should say, you, you're getting that dopamine response, is what?
Ian 47:00
And that's a human thing, that's not like a generational things. That's the thing I'm more talking about is like that. I hope that we can get to a place in the future where,
Jason 47:10
well, I think we can start when these things became available to young people, right? Because for boomers, and even for xers myself. I mean, you know, boomers didn't really have tech, so, you know, their brains develop differently.
Stoney 47:31
We had to go outside and play in the heat and drink from the garden, right, well.
Jason 47:35
And then you get into Gen you get in, then you get into Gen X then you you still have remnants of that, of going out and playing till dark and drinking out of the garden hose and, you know, and not really having tech. But we also remember coming in with the Atari and television and all these things. So it was, we were the arcade.
Stoney 48:00
We were told no. We were told you can watch cartoon Saturday morning for an hour, and that was it. When the Atari came out, you got 30 minutes to play after school if your grades were good. Now, that's not how that works. Now, well
Ian 48:15
and also, again, like I said, like, I'm also in this middle generation as well, where I all the things you're talking about, I experienced as well, but there was this transition where, like, there were kids that you know grew up with more than I exactly your mom didn't play, that's
Stoney 48:31
why, well,
Ian 48:32
no, but no, but you're right, though. But at the same time, I think, like, I'm in this weird middle ground where, like, I remember the younger brothers of my friends, not, not experiencing some of those things. So like, I'm in this interesting, weird,
Stoney 48:46
you were the oldest. You were the one that made all their mistakes on and then they learned exactly correct. I'm just playing
Ian 48:53
No. But the funny thing is, my mom has made the same joke where she's like, I learned all my mistakes on him, and she Yeah, but that's the thing is, like, so for me, like, I hear what you guys are saying, and I'm like, I'm in the same boat where it's like, I remember all that. I remember not I remember having dial up internet. I remember not having, not being able to access the internet without cutting off the phone line, or not having fast Internet, and like, all that stuff. And so, I mean, I'm in this weird space now where, like, all this new tech is such a I'm, I think I'm, I'm, I'm getting caught up in the addiction of it, just like everyone else is. But I'm having, like, a weird perception of it all, where I'm like, this is such this is not okay, and I need to, like, step back. I think younger people are not having that.
Stoney 49:38
I remember you talking about this, and you're very deliberate in that I'm not going to be addicted to this, so I'm not participating. Right? In the same realm, you're very is what's there's a word I'm looking for crap. This brain damage is kicking my ass. But you were, I'll use the word deliberate. You are deliberate. You said, I'm not going to lie. All this to affect me, this
Ian 50:01
away because it, because it already did, I think, is the thing. So, like, there, there was a moment in my, like, early teen years where I started realizing that I was like, I'm getting super hooked on this social media. And it started, it started affecting the way I looked at myself, or my perception of the world, and all the things everyone else is having were like, you know, people will say like, social media is not real, but then people will still judge their appearance based off of people they see on social media, sure, or their outlook on how much they travel, whatever. Insert your situation here. I was having that same thing in like, my late teens, early 20s, and was like, This doesn't feel real. And that was when I decided to make, like, some pretty deliberate, like you're saying, changes where I was, like, I gotta and I'm not perfect, but by no means, I still get moments where I Doom scroll on Instagram. It's just, I think it's something that happens, and it is part of the modern world. But the the point I was, I think I'm trying to come across with all this, is that I think that there are younger people that I think are that have been like, born with this and in this space, that I think are having a harder time realizing that it's a problem. I could be wrong, and I could be speaking generally, but even like, it could be across the board, across all generations that are having this issue. But that's the thing I'm talking about, is like being able to realize the issue and naming it as an issue, and then trying to work towards bettering it as I'm talking about. And that's one thing that I feel like I'm in this weird middle ground where, like, I remember when that I remember when Instagram was starting up. I remember when Facebook was a was a new little thing like and not having it in my life, and what that felt like. And then now, when it's like, it's everywhere, it's all consuming I'm like, man, and I'm not happier because of
Jason 51:46
it. Well, I mean, you just, I just think it's now a platform for more people to put out abnormal behaviors and trying to make these, some of these things, you know, things that in the past would have been considered abnormal, you know, now it's, well, you know, you've got this, you got that and stuff. And I think so. I mean, it's, I
Ian 52:08
think too, it's also, I remember what? And I think I've talked about this on an episode in the past, so forgive me for repeating myself. I remember when Instagram was, like, a photo sharing. Yeah, that's all it was between friends. I could subscribe to my I could follow my friends. My friends could follow me. We could post pictures, and I could see their week on my timeline, and just like, scroll through pictures of my friends or celebrities I thought were cool, and then my stuff would be on there as well. And it was a cool, fun little place to be. And now it's so commercialized. Now it's so there's advertisements everywhere. Everyone is trying to make reels, everyone's trying to make tick tocks. Everyone's trying to make these, like, short form content that, just like, gets everyone's attention to try and be famous. And it's like, it just feels like this.
Stoney 52:56
Well, Facebook was supposed to be for students only. You had to have a student ID, because they were going to keep the pedos out of it. Remember, because there were so many pedos on this MySpace thing, they were going to try to protect the kids, and Facebook was going to be just for students alone. Well, that didn't last very
Jason 53:13
long. Yeah, there's no money to be made in that. Oh, yeah, just relegating it to
Ian 53:17
students exactly. And it's the same thing we've talked about, I think, with like things as simple as, um, as Christmas. Christmas was such a had such a beautiful thing back in history, and now it's so commercialized that it's like, is it even about? You know, the
Jason 53:33
I went into the I went stopped by the store today, and they're putting Christmas stuff up 100% Oh, I said that. I said that I'm like, You got to be kidding me. It's not even, we're not even close to Halloween yet.
Stoney 53:47
Yep, I was in Costco two weeks ago, and there was a whole row of Christmas stuff.
Jason 53:53
Well, you know, they doing that on purpose. They get people to think, oh,
Stoney 53:56
start buying. Start by buying, because that's your reaction
Jason 54:01
to it, and people respond. They thinking, Now Christmas Oh, and they start buying Christmas gifts, and so you start spending more money. Oh, yeah,
Stoney 54:10
the reaction thing has been commercialized a long time. Yeah. So y'all not gonna remember this, but I can remember when they used to do the subliminal stuff in the movies. Oh yeah, we our eyes see at 35 frames per second, one frame would be popcorn, one frame would be a drink, one frame would be a candy bar, and all of a sudden, you go, man, you know what? I'm I'm thirsty. Go get me a coke and some popcorn, you know what? Maybe I'll get me a candy bar while I'm at it, but that's your reaction to that stimuli.
Ian 54:48
And all I'm saying is that, what if they still do that? They do a 100% of course they when I tell not, not at, not in the, not in the aspects you're talking about. But you want to talk about Tiktok curating like. Like curating algorithms so perfectly to people. They they know all of your information. They know all of what you like, all the little things that you take, all the things that make you want to buy something. They got it down to a science. And it's just it is evolved. It is the same sort of stuff, but it is evolved now how Timu and how Amazon makes everything feel so immediate, like you gotta get this thing now. It's like, it's all this stuff that's so curated. And it's right, it is.
Stoney 55:30
Look what's how much Starbucks, um, stock went up when that girl left the coffee cup in the Game of Thrones table. That's That's a sensational thing, like, that's part of reaction to stuff. That's part of reaction, oh my gosh. Or how much does Pepsi or Coke, or even cars today you go watch your favorite movie and they pay extra money for you to use their cars or for the star to have a coke in their hand, or something. That's a reaction we're reacting to that those are the stimuli that are inside of us that build something on the inside. But that's why these little memes and pictures and stuff, they can generate so much of an emotional response. My favorite one right now on tick tock. Okay, we just had the first, pretty much the first week of collegiate football and Alabama lost. They were supposed to be playing for a national title. And my favorite little meme now is the little ASPC in the arms for 15 cents a day. You too can support an Alabama football fan, you know, as they're crying and bitching and moaning because they lost, but those are those things that stir you on the inside, right? And everybody learns how to do it. Your dog knows how to do it. You know, it looks up at you, at those little puppy dog eyes when you're eating, because it knows it's going to build that response in you, and it's going to go for the weakest person at the table all and to who's going to be the weakest tonight? And that's what all of these reactions, who were reacting to certain stimuli that are around us, the new car smell, oh, yeah, you know, Jason said he's, you know, I remember somebody talking one day they were being forced to sell their home. I think we think through bankruptcy or something. Yeah. And when you want to sell your home, you bake chocolate chip cookies in the oven. When you don't want to sell your home, like you're being forced to, you burn popcorn in the microwave because those smell oh yeah, reactors, oh no, I can't. Oh man, it smells like home in here. Wow, I want to buy this house that smells like cookies exactly, you know, so, but that's the responses that we're dealing with every day, all the time in our lives.
Ian 57:50
There's a special, a very specific core memory of mine, of a certain location and a place that has a stall out front that had that sells, like, roasted like, roasted pecans, roasted peanuts, almonds, like, or cashews, all different, different kinds of roasted nuts. And they're, they're like, cinnamon coated. So, like, there's this very specific memory of myself, like, for myself, that anytime I smell cinnamon sugar, or I smell that kind of like cinnamon roll, anything cinnamon sugar related, it just brings me back to that. So it's very true with what you're talking about, is it has this very smells specifically have a very strong effect on your memory. And that's one thing that I every time I get that, that smell of cinnamon, roasted cashews or something, I'm like, oh, man, that just brings me back.
Stoney 58:53
So, yeah, I mean, I had a conversation with, how do you dr Miranda the other day about she's only seen me get mad once or twice. I don't get mad, right? I don't get mad. I don't let that emotion rule my life. As former protective services, you can't do that because you're living with all of these stimuli that you see, you're feeling, you smell, you touch everything that's happening for you to protect this person that you're with, right? And I think she actually came to the realization that the only time I get mad when somebody in her life is treating her poorly, I get that, and most people don't understand I'm a peaceful person, right?
Ian 59:43
You touch her. I'ma bury you. That's the same thing I felt.
Stoney 59:47
I bury you. I'm gonna put so many pain level, levels of pain on your life for touching my hearty doctor. But that's a reaction to that stimuli, too. You leave her alone. I don't care what you do. What. A man has to do to provide for his family. I don't care what you
Ian 1:00:04
do. I've said the same thing about my younger brothers. I've had two younger brothers, and there's been I never, usually, ever get violent. I will never get super upset or angry. But the times that it has happened was when someone was like, paying on my brother, and it's like, I don't that's I, that's my job. I get to pick on my drive, not you, right? So I get to because there's no relationship, right? The second someone else is picking on my brother, I'm like, Excuse me, that's my job. So anyways,
Stoney 1:00:33
but you see, that's one of the things, too. I love how you said that, because that's true, but that's also one of the things that the other countries of this world has realized about America. Okay, we may fight amongst ourselves. Oh, yeah, but don't you dare. Don't dare mess with I don't care what color, what race, whatever. That's an American. That's my I can mess with him, but you can't, right the minute you put your hands on him, I'm gonna mess you up, or her, or whatever. You know, what I'm trying to say, how many times in war Have they found that, you know, and that's, that's your tribe, that's my
Jason 1:01:07
tribe. I mean, at the end of the day, we're all tribal. It always goes back to that, you know, you bond with a certain group of people.
Ian 1:01:15
And yep, it's, it's anything, when you get a community of people around, you can there's a lot of there's inviting, there's always frustrations, and you know, but like you said, the second there's exterior, exterior trauma or sort of friction, it's when they all band together. I thought this was really cool conversation. Yeah, pretty
Jason 1:01:38
interesting. Yeah. Actually, there's a lot of studies out there on this kind of stuff. Absolutely, lots of studies, auditory, emotional, cognitive, I mean, they got
Stoney 1:01:48
them. We could have went down a whole bunch of rabbit holes with this. I'm kind of as as Jason says. Or was it you who said 10,000
Jason 1:01:55
both you guys have said it. Yeah. I said we generally, we generally approach these topics from a macro or a 10,000 foot kind of, this
Stoney 1:02:04
is, this was fun. And I if y'all want us to let us know, because this might be worth diving into a little deeper, let us know, kind of, the direction you want us to go, because it's so vast. Oh yeah, there's a lot so bad we, you know, we, y'all could help us on this one. You know, if you want us to go a little bit further in this kind of tell us the direction you would like to see, or if you're curious about a certain Avenue or process, let us know, right? We let us know how you react to things. Yes, absolutely.
Ian 1:02:35
We have comment sections on Spotify and YouTube and all the different platforms in which you guys listen to us on Be sure to like and subscribe or engage, react, wink, wink, however you can on whatever platform you listen to. We try to keep an eye out for all those. We also have an email address benefited together@gmail.com, where you can send us more long form responses if you want, or the website, yes. Retrospect, podcast.com, and until next week, thank you so much for listening. Bye, bye,
Jason 1:03:05
goodbye everyone, and God bless.
Stoney 1:03:07
Keep your reflex, upgrade your response. Tonight, make yourself a quiet promise. I'll give people my second reaction, not my first. Count to five, name what you feel and then choose the move that serves your values, not your adrenaline. Do it three times this week, and watch how many fires never start. Your reflex is history. Your response is authorship. What story will you write next? We appreciate you hanging out with us. Thanks for joining us this week. You're the best peace.